So last week Wednesday shaped up to be a really interesting day. The background to it: I pulled my braids out over that weekend, pulled my hair into a puffy ponytail for Monday and Tuesday and with my morning getting ready time LITERALLY doubled (yes! It’s hell to catch my hair up!) I made the decision that I was NOT going to be in the mood to keep it up for the rest of the week until I get my hair braided again! NB: I actually didn’t end up braiding my hair so the struggle is still live! -_-
In utter frustration and through a friend’s offer, I decided to allow her to try some of the increasingly popular natural styles…and the result was really…interesting…let’s just say that!
So ye…that’s what it ended up looking like. But that wasn’t until about an hour or 2 of pulling at the original result trying to figure out how to be able to step out of the house looking even semi-decent!!! That was absolute hell really! As I said, it took probably 2 hours for it to reach a point where I was slightly comfortable with it.
But that was just the beginning! The actual hard part was soon to come which was: STEPPING OUT THROUGH MY FRONT DOOR. That part was seriously dreaded but I found a way to do it. How you may ask? Simple! With the assistance of headphones and shades basically aiding in my blocking out the world and all their possible comments. That tactic actually worked pretty well while I walked on the street and took the bus to school.
However it wasn’t the same stepping in the through my University’s gate because that’s when shit got real!!! As in, you reach a place where people actually know you and stop you wanting to know what in the world you were thinking! And TRUST ME, I got that question A LOT!
Anyway, eventually I ditched the headphones and shades after a while and just walked around without a care in the world. The thing is that even though strangers may have been looking on and judging, they didn’t say anything to me and even if they did, the fact that I didn’t know them kind of made their opinion invalid in my little world. My friends expressed their views (which was basically utter shock), but then they went on with their day and interacted with me normally. And believe it or not, the world kept turning and their was no apocalypse! Yes, I had my moments of insecurity today not wanting to do anything to draw too much attention to myself, and at some point, snagging my male friend’s cap, but it wasn’t half as bad as it could have been.
I realized that I was the one casting the harshest judgements on myself and it really wasn’t fair. It reminded me of an episode of National Geographic’s show Brain Games in which a study was done testing the theory that wearing a bath suit makes you dumber.
In today’s world, image is a big deal so people are judged and objectified based on their bodies. We internalize this objectification and as a result we worry about other people’s opinion of us and in turn, judge ourselves or self-objectify. Therefore, even if someone is dressed in a swimsuit and completely by them self, they consider what it would be like to be judged by others, end up judging them self and focus on that rather than the present task at hand.
In the study, men and women were given 3 10-minute tests consisting of 20 math questions. However, for each test, the candidates were dressed differently:
Test 1, In normal clothing: they averaged 65.5%.
Test 2, in silly costumes: they averaged in the 50s.
For the first 2 tests, they were seated contiguously with an invigilator present.
Test 3, in bathing suits, the invigilator was not present. The candidates were seated alone in cubicles. They averaged in 30s!
The concept behind the result goes back to what was mentioned about self-objectification. The candidates felt silly and uncomfortable, not because they were being judged by others, but because their own insecurities got the better of them.
How does this apply to me? Simple! I stopped judging myself and went about my business and it didn’t turn out half bad. We won’t always have perfect days and things won’t always turn out how we’d like them to but we simply need to deal with it with our heads held high, learn from it and move forward.
And hey, when in doubt take a selfie, caption it and put it out there for everyone to see…at least that’s what I did, and it looks pretty cool if I do say so myself! Lol! Then again, maybe you shouldn’t follow me, but that’s ultimately up to you!
I’ll leave you with this quote we’ve all heard before but now it has just a bit more value and life application to me.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
xoxo, from where my 7 dreams grow ~ Rynzi