-8- Hello…it’s me…-8-
Yes, I did just start this post with an Adele reference because why not? When you’re writing and all up in your feels, Adele can’t really be a wrong choice. Anyway, onward to the meat of the matter…
*Thinks to self*: Wait, you don’t even eat meat. So, should I say onward to the protein-substitute of the matter, instead? No, that doesn’t have the same ring to it…sigh.
That was my actual thought process folks. No wonder I’m single…LOL!
My last post made reference to unplugging regarding disconnecting from social spheres for a while. I’ve been doing it and it’s been okay. I haven’t been super strict with it, like not logging on to Facebook at all or anything, because as I mentioned, I’m a sucker for the memes. However, I have drastically decreased my social media use, and I’m enjoying it. It’s absolutely liberating!
You see, I’m a firm believer in taking time away from everyone and everything to sort of get reacquainted with yourself. This may sound strange, but hear me out: you spend so much time around others in different social groups, like work, school, church, and this can have such a massive effect on who you are. So sometimes I think you need to step back from all those roles you fill and hats you wear and re-meet yourself, so to speak. Therefore, it is extremely empowering and refreshing to re-meet ourselves without pressure from external forces. Reassess your likes and dislikes and views on certain issues and determine whether you adopted the norm around you out of conformity or because you genuinely agree or if you didn’t change your views at all. Reestablish your goals. Reaffirm your strengths. Then, when you’re ready, no matter how long that might take, go back into the world and be you. Get reacquainted with yourself as much as necessary and treasure and take pride in your journey and the epitome of who you are outside of people’s expectations of and projections on you.
What I didn’t realize however, until quite recently is how this also goes for our relationships with others. Sometimes, we spend so much time interacting with people within these set social constructs, we see them only through those eyes and actually, we don’t actually see them at all. Even more, sometimes, we see people in a certain light for so long based on specific circumstances and whatever the other factors, that we stop really seeing them and they become strangers to us. This is usually when friendships kinda fall apart and people drift and this divide becomes evident, but…this isn’t a negative!
At times it’s exactly what we need. Because when we take the time to re-meet ourselves, we also have the opportunity to re-meet the other person, and that does more than good than we could’ve ever anticipated. Away from the circumstances and prodding and all those external forces, you become reacquainted with the essence of this being and find your ways back to each other. You have your friendships outside of a realm of likes and shares.
Personally, I’m a loner by nature. But just because I like to be alone, doesn’t mean I like to be lonely. During this period of detachment is when I was reminded about little things about myself and the persons I truly consider friends, like:
- I cannot just not mindlessly watch YouTube videos.
- I always rediscover my twitter account when I wanna talk but not to anyone in particular.
- No matter how detached I think I’m being, I will text friends to theorize about Game of Thrones events!
- Even though I haven’t really been using whatsapp and have changed all my settings to seem like I don’t even have it, my friends will STILL screenshot the lone photo I uploaded to Instagram and troll me in our group chat, and I’m fine with that.
- My best friend heard an unfortunate news story and was immediately concerned I was the person referred to and genuinely checked in to see that I was okay; then, she allowed me my solitude again…
and a host of others. This makes me appreciate the people I’ve been lucky enough to have around me, who let me be whoever I want to be, whenever I want to be, and always care for and accommodate me.
This also forces me to assess myself. I’m reminded of my weaknesses and strengths and I get the chance or rather force myself to act accordingly; I make a game plan and realign myself. It’s like hitting the “reset” button on my life, and I love it.
I don’t claim to be perfect. I’m 22 years old and have no idea what that even means or if I’m “doing it right”, but I’m wading my way through it the best that I can. I’m being critical, but not too hard on myself. I’m making mistakes by the ton, and trying to patch things up in that “duct-tape-is-always-the-answer” kind of way, and I’m okay with that. I love who I am, but there’s the capacity in me to love myself even more. I’m great as I am, but there’s always room to grow as long as I remember that I’m only ever striving to be a better version of myself.
Sound good? I hope so because I think we should all re-meet ourselves, and the people around us, every now and again. So to that person I’m re-meeting…hello, it’s really nice to meet you!
xoxo, from where my 7 dreams grow,