The Phoenix…

So let me get right to it and keep it short and sweet today…

It’s Monday morning, 8:30 A.M. I’m at work (which BEGAN at 8 A.M.) and I’m over it. In all honesty, I’ve been over it for a while now. But this morning in particular, my body is sending the biological signals that usually preempt a surrender (along with some other things), and guess what? That’s okay.

I remember years ago when I would push myself to my absolute limits and then just break. I mean, I would struggle and persist through whatever it was I had to do, whether it was an assignment, or a presentation, or a job, or just an uncomfortable situation; I would just deal with it and labor in silence until I couldn’t hold on anymore. And when I’d break, I would feel so weak and so ashamed of myself for not being able to fight harder and hold out longer. I never actually gave up; I just kept going until I couldn’t go anymore.

It just so happened when I had a major breakdown, I realized that I had NOTHING to be ashamed of, simply because I had done my absolute best. I didn’t give up; I did all that I could and still tried to give when I had no more left, and for that, I learned to congratulate myself. I learned to give myself a pat on the back for never yielding, because even when I surrendered, it was always with the intent to try again, and that was what was most important.

In this life, we are faced with so many adversities. Different challenges seek to overcome us and inhibit us from doing the things we want to do and achieving the greatness that we have inside us. Sometimes these hardships win, and we are ravaged beyond measure, but that doesn’t matter because we are phoenixes.

phoenixˈfiːnɪks/ (n.)
(in classical mythology) a unique bird that lived for five or six centuries, after this time burning itself on a funeral pyre and rising from the ashes with renewed youth to live through another cycle
We, like the phoenix, will rise from ashes and live to fight another day, and there is no shame in that.
So as I sit here, 100% exhausted and ready to throw in the towel, I remember the phoenix and why I’m still here and what my end-goal is, and I press on.
xoxo, from where my 7 dreams grow…
~Rynzi <3

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